Final 7 and Life "After" Cancer

Hello Everyone - Happy New Year! Happy Belated Birthday to me!  I cannot believe it has been more than a month since I've posted an update.  (The truth is, I think it's good news - because I had less gnarly crap on my mind to post about - but still I know some of you who don't live close by use this to keep up to date on things, so my apologies for falling off the face of this blog...)

Last time I posted, I had completed one radiation of 33. As of today, I have completed 28 so only 7 more to go!  Radiation has gone really smoothly for me. The sessions themselves have been very short. I've been able to hold position and hold my breath to mimic the same shape they created in my holograph so I think the sessions are probably around 6-10 minutes, three deep breaths and some normal breathing in the interim and I'm done. My skin is also hanging in there. Other than some blistering and aggrevation in my armpit and on the left side underneath, I am doing really well.

I also continue to get the monthly shots to keep my ovaries shut down, do my bloodwork and meet with my oncologist. My one lingering issue is my bloodwork, which plummeted this month back to where it was in late September at the end of chemo. My oncologist says it's expected, and may explain why I am so tired, but it's a bummer to see all the numbers go down and have to worry again about my ability to fight off infections. Anyway, still, all up, things are good.

As "active" treatment comes to an end, I am starting to really wonder about "life after cancer"...AGAIN. I feel enthusiastic about the areas I'm focusing on this year (see below) but I do wonder how I move toward feeling "normal" and not stay in hyper fear mode. I mean maybe I don't. Maybe that's the new normal - living with fear and my mortality FRONT AND CENTER...but I certainly hope not. 

In the last post I outlined the 891 health habits I was adopting (ha, ha, just a little exaggeration), but in the early days of 2021, I was able to take a step back and come up with some general themes I'm focusing on in 2021, which the health behaviors sort of fall within. Here they are for your reading pleasure:

2021 Guiding Themes:

1. Optimal Health
2. More Joy
3. New Experiences
4. Cancer Advocacy
5. Budgeted Investments

I covered the "optimal health" pretty well in my last post in December, but I think these themes all taken together are my path forward. Optimal health to prevent another recurrence or other health issue. More joy to make the time that I do have matter, happy, connected, and memorable. New experiences because, for me, that just makes life better and more interesting, and weirdly enough, during Covid I sort of rediscovered how fun it is to just randomly try things. I think it feeds into more joy and learning. Cancer advocacy because I feel that I HAVE to, for my own sanity, use my two cancer experiences to help others and promote progress in cancer research and funding. And lastly, budgeted investments, which sounds super boring, but I actually think is another way to support the other themes because my intention with that one is planning and budgeting for the vacations we want to take, the home improvements we want to make, the large purchases that support health or joy. 

In January, so far. I think I am NAILING these themes and I am grateful to have them because it helps me figure out how to spend my time and energy. I've been spending my time:

• Exercising (75+ minutes every day). My sisters and I and some friends also did a virtual 5K for a cancer org for my birthday which was realy fun!
• Learning how to cook with non-grain flours, alternative sugars, and a lot more veggies and beans
• Listening to the Happiness Lab Podcast (+ Kelly Corrigan Wonders, both of which I highly recommend!)
• Completing SUPER INTERESTING training from the Susan G. Komen Center for Public Policy as I was selected as a District Policy Ambassador for two years starting this month.
• Trying to enjoy virtual school with the kids (which is not at all enjoyable, so this one needs constant work, deep breaths and daily resets!)
• Reading (currently on The Office of Historical Corrections) and watching TV (just finished Bridgerton and am now on Glow)

It's the first time EVER that I have invested so much thought into how I want to live the year and I am excited so far at how it helps guide me.  I hope it sticks!

That's all I have for you today. I'm sorry these posts seem to have become more mundane, but if nothing else, this year has taught me how much magic there is in the mundance (which was the theme of our Christmas card!) So I am going to enjoy the tail end of treatment and how much less dramatic and sort of stable it feels compared to where I was 6 months ago!

Thanks for reading. (As usual, including some inspirational sayings I saved this month below.)

 

These two are from the cancer center who celebrated Elvis' Birthday on Jan 8th. It's so random which made me LOVE IT so much!