Broken Eyebrows

Well, the good news is that I have finished my 5th cycle of chemo and am down to 34 days and only one cycle left of chemo.  Thank goodness.  I can't wait.  But for everyone who told me the time would just fly by, you were wrong.  It has been agonizingly long...but it is almost over and it has not been as hard or as bad as I thought so overall, THANK GOODNESS.

The bad news is that despite my best effort to the contrary, my eyebrows and eyelashes are thinning considerably to the extent that Karina pointed at my eyebrows last week and was like "Eyebrow.  Broken."  From a completely vain and shallow point of view, this is like my worst nightmare.  One of the fellow cancer patient blogs I read described her hairless self as a Mrs. Potato Head and it looks like I am going down that path and I am super bummed.  Stupid cancer.

Monday was Round 5, and I am doing pretty well outside of the nausea and tiredness that have been present each cycle.  This week has been slightly more difficult bc Karina was sent home sick from school Monday, so while I normally have my days free to just sleep and rest, Karina was home Monday and Tuesday (thankfully my sis in law Nicole was here to take the lead with her) and now the school is closed today (Thursday) through Monday so I am on double kid duty while feeling like HELL ON EARTH.  My mom is here helping and it's still freaking hard.  My poor kids.  They are so neglected.  And thank goodness for TV.  I mean really, TV is saving my butt right now.  Also the oncologist had told me the impacts of the chemo would be cumulative and I get that now as the nausea is pretty bad this go around and the meds aren't really helping.  But I can get through it.  Seriously, 34 days.  That is nothing.

For now, I am just looking forward to getting through my last round, to regaining my energy  and appetite/love for food, and having a sensational summer with the girls.  I can't think past that right now...I have to figure out when I will go back to work, how I will adapt to herceptin only infusions and tamoxifen, how I'm going to lose the weight I've gained on chemo, how to cover my lack of hair while swimming this summer, when my final surgery will be, and then long term how to make sure I stay healthy...I feel like I need to figure out my whole life...re-figure it all out, and I just don't have the energy or motivation to do that right now.  Remember I set all those goals for my time on chemo?  I haven't accomplished a single one and I sort of don't care.  I am just so tired and trying to make it through each day.  And I'm optimistic I have time to revisit all that stuff and get back on track.

I think that's it.  Sorry I don't have much of an update.  Thanks for reading and for the continued support.

SHOOT - Sorry, I got all stuck in the doom and gloom and forgot about the two great walks we did in May - The EIF/Revlon Walk on May 10th and then the Walk with Love on Sunday May 18th.  See pics below.  Both were particularly relevant for me bc the Revlon Walk is the event that originally raised money for Herceptin research and got Herceptin tested and approved for treatment of HER2 positive tumors, which I have, and so my positive prognosis is in large part due to the success of that event over the past 21 years,  It was great to be a part of it and to walk with our good friends!  The Walk with Love walk benefits the Susan Love Research Foundation who manage the Army of Women studies.  They are trying to recruit 1 million women to understand what CAUSES breast cancer so that they can continue to work toward prevention as much as treatment.  I joined the Army of Women and have participated in two of their studies so far.  Both events/organizations REALLY MATTER.  And it was awesome to walk/run that one with my sisters and sister in law Nicole from Florida.  So far through the three Boobablisscious Walks we have raised $2,500 toward breast cancer research.  I am so proud and will continue doing an event a month so stay tuned if you like walking or running!