The Bald and the Not So Beautiful

So I am almost two weeks into this bald life and as with every aspect of cancer so far, it has not been as bad as I imagined.  Not to say it has been super fun or anything, but much to my surprise it hasn't changed much about the way I go about my life.  When I had asked a friend of mine at work who went through this how she dealt with facing the world bald, she said, well stuff has to get done so I just put on a baseball cap and got on with it.  That is pretty much the truth and what has ended up happening with me.  And actually I think people who feel uncomfortable and don't know how to react to you end up being way OVERLY nice which is not a bad thing.  (I do wear a hat ALL THE TIME.)

I will say it is much harder to see people I know than strangers.  Well, especially people I know who don't know I have cancer.  Last week when we went to the girls' gymnastics classes, it was weird bc we are sort of friendly with the parents but it's not like I go around and am like, oh hey, howz it going, I have cancer.  One of the moms was like so...what's going on with you and the shaved head.  So I told a couple of the moms and of course they were great and offered to have the girls over for playdates and it was totally fine.  People really for the most part of very kind and generous.

Friday night we went to Kid Concepts and a few young girls in the art room.we're trying to befriend Tash so they were asking her how old she is, her name, whether she has seen Frozen (which then broke out into an impromptu Let it Go sing along...)  When they were done with Tash they turned to me and one of the girls asked me if I had gotten a haircut?  I replied yes, I got a sort of extreme haircut.  And she asked why.  So I said, well I have to take some strong medicine that was making my hair fall out and I looked weird and spotted so I cut the rest of it off.  And Natasha chimes in, my mom had a ball in her boob.  So then they asked why I had a ball in my boob.  I told them I really didn't know, but that it was a sick ball and we wanted to get rid of it.  One of them said, ohhhhh, yah, like I get bumps on my leg sometimes when I fall and showed us a bump and bruise on her leg and that was it.  Kids are so funny.  And smart.  And sweet.  :)

One of my neighbors also told me I looked radiant and a girl at the sandwich shop up the street went.on for like 5 minutes about how much she likes me without hair bc it really shows off my face and on and on.  I appreciate it and realize people are trying to make me feel better, but really I look weird and not attractive but the good news it hasn't stopped me from doing much of anything AND I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes.  I hope they last. Also for some reason I can't bring myself to go to my local Starbucks where all the baristas know me bc I guess I don't want to tell them all I have cancer so I go to the drive through which is just slightly further.  I'm a weirdo.  :)

Other than living la vida balda I am already dreading chemo cycle round three which starts with my blood work on Friday, steroids Sunday and the infusion Monday.  If the side effects do end up being worse bc of the cumulative nature of the chemo I am going to cry.  Thankfully Grandma Ann has been here this week to help me with the girls spring break and my mom and sister Heather will be here Monday to help with the kids after the infusion.  We are so lucky to have so much help.

That's it.  Hope you are all well.  Thanks for reading.