Update after the surgical consult

December 17, 2013

Many many thanks to everyone for the calls, texts, emails, IMs and virtual hugs today.  I appreciated each and every one. 

As you know, we had our surgical consult this morning.  Really nothing new to report, although the surgeon is pretty funny. She reminds me of Sandra Bernhard and Chris said she would’ve made a really great ER character.  She did her undergrad at Berkeley (Go Bears) and  trained at the City of Hope.  And she was just normal, like I would want to hang out with her and be her friend.  She is of course smart and specialized too.  So, overall a good first experience.

But, we have no real new news.  We basically can’t make a decision until we get the breast cancer gene test results back which should be soon, like within the week we hope.  If that comes back positive, then it basically means a double mastectomy and potentially a hysterectomy.  So there is no point in starting chemo to shrink down a tumor that is going to be removed anyway, and there is no reason to do a lumpectomy only to have to turn around and do a mastectomy.  So, we are still waiting.  And for the love of god, I hope the test doesn’t come back positive!

If it comes back negative then I have the same options that were outlined before – Mastectomy plus chemotherapy, lumpectomy plus chemotherapy plus radiation or chemotherapy plus lumpectomy plus radiation.  They all suck.  And they all require chemo and loss of hair and some portion of or a whole body part being removed.  The surgeon said it is going to be hell, but I’ll get through it and I will be able to love and live with my girls as a result.  But she was clear about it being hell.   I hate 2014 already.

They may also bring me in to do an MRI or another biopsy.  Tomorrow my sample gets reviewed and discussed by the overall breast clinic and if there are any concerns or findings then they may call me in for other tests.  So, we are waiting for that and for the breast cancer gene test back.

I had also posted for people who know anything about cancer that my HER2 test came back equivocal and so they had to re-test.  In the more sophisticated test it came back again as equivocal so we have to talk about that with the oncologist to understand the implications of foregoing the HER2+ therapy…the surgeon doesn’t really know what it means.

So over the next two weeks, I will have six additional doctor’s appointments to get through before we determine the treatment path:

·         one with an oncologist to talk about chemotherapy and radiation

·         two with plastic surgeons to talk about reconstruction

·         one with a counselor to talk about coping with this crappy situation

·          one with the geneticist to talk about the cancer gene results

·         and a follow-up with the surgeon on January 2^nd to determine the actual treatment path

A lot to do still before we decide the treatment path.  It is overwhelming.  And it’s weird.  But the good news I will probably not start treatment until after the New Year, which could also be bad news bc the ANXIETY is probably doing me more harm than the cancer.  But truly, I think it will be nice to have the holidays with the girls before entering into hell 2014.

I think that’s all I have to share today.  A couple of my friends who have preceded me as cancer survivors told me to expect this awful journey to have a secondary outcome which is that I will be changed for the better, will see how much good there is in people, will be more inspired than ever to help people/other women, etc., which I think I have written about before.  One friend even mentioned that perhaps the MPH I got almost 10 years will finally be put to use, and maybe my writing too.  I hope they are right and I hope I end up experiencing that bc I am just super anxious and bitter and angry right now, not so much of the good is presenting itself…yet.  But the reason I bring that up is because I was touched at how many people remembered that today was the consult and proactively reached out to send me positive wishes and notes.  That was unexpected and again sincerely appreciated.

Hope you are all having a good week.

Thanks for reading.

Sherri