The fun starts Monday

Damn, I don't even know where to start.  Chris and I spent about an hour with the oncologist today and just...well, damn.  I need a brain dump so here you go:

• They actually found precancerous cells in the biopsy of my right breast so I could not be more thankful that I did the double mastectomy since the actual cancerous tumor is in my left breast.  She said there is no guarantee that would have turned into cancer, but still.  Jeez.  Gnarly.
• Because I am HER2 positive and grade 3, which remember is the dynamic, fast-growing cancer cells, and my tumor was medium sized, the potential for recurrence is 40-60 % within the first 5-10 years after treatment.  Holy crap, right???  With chemo it reduces to 20-30% which still sounds awful, but that ultimately made the chemo decision for me.  
• I'll start chemo on Monday, I am doing Taxotere and Carboplatin for 6 sessions every 3 weeks so my last treatment will be on June 9th.  (Just in time to celebrate Chris' 38th bday and I will have maybe a centimeter of hair by Karina's bday.  Woo hoo!!!)
• I'll start to lose my hair between 3-5 weeks after my first session.  
• The chemo may cause all the scary things I have already outlined in other posts, but it can also cause numbness in my fingers.and toes which may last for up to a year.  That sounds really uncomfortable to me and I hope it doesn't happen.
• After chemo I go into herceptin infusions every three weeks until March 2015 and will start Tamoxifen which I will have to take for ten years. Herceptin can cause congenital heart failure and Tamoxifen will put me into early menopause and can cause endometrial and/or uterine cancer.  Thank goodness we are done having kids and that I have a healthy heart.  So far.
• I'm still scared but now that we have a plan I feel more settled.  I can live without hair for three months.  I think.
• The oncologist said caffeine and exercise and massage and manis/pedis are all fine during chemo so at least I can overspend on some of those self-care indulgences like Starbucks and Color Me Green.
• She is writing me out for work until July or August which will make this the longest period of my life not working since Freshman year of college. 

That's it.  I'm sorry these posts have been shorter lately, or maybe that is better for.most people, but my work laptop died the day after I went on leave (hello universe telling me to really take a break) and so I blog on my pad which I find much more difficult.  That's also why you'll find random periods in my posts bc the period and space bar are right next to each other and my fat thumbs sometimes don't hit the right key.  

Thanks for reading.  Let me know if you have any questions.